My wife and I went to see the new Dr. Strange movie today. It was really good, pretty well keeping us entranced the whole way, even though I really had to go to the bathroom. By the time the movie was over, you can probably guess where my first stop was. But that’s neither here nor there.
The special effects in this movie absolutely blew me away. Suffice to see that the movie was driven by one fantastic visual sequence after another. I’ve always wanted to write screenplays, but when I watch movies like this, I realize there is no way I can ever imagine something like it on my own. I don’t know if the screenwriters give the CGI guys specific directions on everything visual or general guidelines or what, but I do know I am never going to be able to come close to writing what I see in today’s movies. I’m not very visual. I think in words not pictures.
As I watched the previews of the films coming out within the next year, I realized that almost all of them were spectacularly visual. How can I compete? I can’t. So one of the many decisions I have to come up with is if I should continue to try writing screenplays. If I do, I imagine I could only write the low-budget independent type film. It doesn’t seem like people want those as much, however. I’ve never made a dime off screenwriting. In fact, I’ve probably lost money considering the times I’ve entered contests, listed screenplay with Inktip, gotten coverage. You know, done all the things screenwriters are supposed to do. I have even considered visiting California in an attempt to make connections. I think it’s all useless. I don’t think I’ll ever sell anything. In fact, I’m beginning to think that I’m a writer in my mind only.
So anyway, I’ve come to kind of a standstill right now. I’d like to nab an agent or manager, but I’ve had no luck with that either. I must have the creativity and imagination of a rock. I’m sure my personality is not much better. I am– and I’m beginning to believe, my writing is also– just boring.
Apparently, I don’t have what it takes to break through. I am going to finish revising my Christian horror YA novel and I’ll get it on Amazon. Many of my friends said they would like to see something like it. I’ll see if anyone buys it. I also have a play that Brooklyn Publishers is considering. If that play gets rejected. If my novel doesn’t sell anything. If I don’t hear from any agents. I think I’m going to find a new hobby. Perhaps it’s time for reality to come back into my life.