Now that I have your attention, I am going to tell you about this totally bizarre dream I had last night. Well, it began with a storytelling contest that God put on. I wanted to win it. I remember in my dream I was really nervous because I still hadn’t settled on a story that I wanted to tell God. Also this was more than a story-telling contest; it was an obstacle course. There was a huge wall that you had to climb, and once you got to the top, you could tell your story. The wall was covered with netting, and you climbed the wall by grabbing on to the netting and inching your way up the wall. I noticed that everyone was walking to the wall and beginning the climb from the bottom. I practiced running and leaping onto the netting so that I would be several feet off the ground, thereby getting a head start on all the others. Okay, it came my turn to tell my story. I ran to the wall and jumped — and came up short of the wall. I, like the others, had to start my climb from the bottom. I managed to get to the top, and I started speaking, but my voice was really garbled and warped. I knew that could destroy my story, so I acted like I was an old man telling it. The story concerned a group of puppies abandoned on the side of the road which my wife wanted to take home and I didn’t want to. I was killing it let me tell you. If I’d had a microphone, I would have dropped it. At about that time my wife woke me up. In my dreams, when my voice is warped and garbled, I am actually talking in my sleep. You may ask why my voice is warped and garbled when I talk aloud in my sleep. It’s because I have to wear a cpap machine, and it’s impossible to talk normally with one of those on your face. Picture Darth Vader. As weird as this sounds; in my dreams, if I am talking clearly, then I am not talking in my sleep, but every time my voice is weird in my dreams it’s because I am talking aloud.
The question of the moment is, “What in the heck could this possibly mean?” Usually, I can tell what my dreams mean because I understand my way of thinking. I’m not sure about this one though. President Trump’s wall is in the news a lot lately. Maybe that’s where I got it. Or maybe I’m trying to please God with my writing, and the wall symbolizes all the obstacles standing in my way to achieving success. Yeah, that one sounds good.
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Review for Walt Michaels: “Hilarious, entertaining book that is great for my high school library!!”